“I Don’t Want to Talk About It”: Why We Avoid End-of-Life Planning and How to Start Anyway

Most people don’t say the words out loud, but you can hear it in the awkward silences, the subject changes, the nervous jokes: “I don’t want to talk about it.”

And I get it. End-of-life planning is uncomfortable. It forces us to face things we’d rather avoid. But here’s the truth—planning isn’t about giving up on life. It’s about protecting the people you love so they can focus on remembering you, not scrambling in the middle of a crisis.

This post isn’t here to scare you or make you feel guilty. It’s here to make something uncomfortable a little easier to face, and to give you a way to actually start.

Why We Put It Off

There’s no mystery here. We avoid end-of-life planning for the same reasons we avoid writing a will, talking about money with family, or facing anything that reminds us of death. It’s emotional, and it feels morbid.

Here are a few common reasons I hear (and you may recognize yourself in some of them):

• “I’m not that old.” Planning feels like giving up. But death doesn’t wait for retirement age.
• “I don’t want to scare my family.” Some people worry that bringing it up will upset their kids or spark conflict. But silence doesn’t protect your family. It just leaves them unprepared.
• “I don’t have the money.” People assume coverage will cost too much or that their health will disqualify them. Many are surprised to learn they actually can get affordable options—if they take action while they still can.
• “It’s too overwhelming.” Where do I start? Who do I talk to? What if I mess it up?

It feels safer to put it off. But here’s the problem: avoiding the conversation doesn’t make the questions go away—it just leaves your family to face them without you

The Hidden Cost of Waiting

I’ve seen two very different kinds of families: those who plan ahead, and those who don’t. The difference, in their grief and their stress, is night and day.

When there’s no plan in place, here’s what happens:

• Grieving families have to make expensive decisions in a hurry.
• Loved ones scramble to pull together money for cremation or burial, often turning to GoFundMe or credit cards.
• Important details—like who’s in charge, what kind of service you’d want, or even where to hold it—get guessed at during an already painful time.

When my oldest child died in 2012, we had no plan. No insurance. No money. A friend stepped in and organized a fundraiser so we could afford the funeral and a memorial stone. It was an act of kindness, but it also opened my eyes. That experience changed me. It’s one of the reasons I left teaching and started helping families with this exact kind of planning. I know what it’s like to feel unprepared in the worst moment of your life, and I don’t want anyone else’s family to go through that.

How to Take the First Step (Even if It Feels Hard)

You don’t have to figure out everything today. But taking the first step now is what makes the rest possible—and it’s what gives your family peace of mind.

1. Talk to someone you trust

Not everyone, and not in a group—just one person. Let them know you’re thinking about getting your affairs in order and ask if they’ll help you talk it through.

2. Write down your wishes

Start simple. Do you want to be buried or cremated? Any specific funeral home? Who should make decisions or be notified? Even a short list on paper is a huge help to your family.

3. Talk with a licensed agent

This is where I come in. I help people understand their options and find affordable final expense coverage that fits their needs, budget, and health situation. No pressure. No sales pitch. Just clear, honest information so you can decide what’s best.

A Gentle Nudge to Begin

If reading this made you uncomfortable, that’s not a bad thing. It means you care enough to think about it.

You don’t have to figure it all out today. But you do need to start.

When you’re ready, I’m here. Send me a message, schedule a call, or just reach out with your questions. I’ll make it simple and judgment-free, because your peace of mind matters—and your family deserves a plan.